Title: Never Been Kissed
Warnings: None other than unbeta'd.
Spoilers: None, really, so long as you know who the characters are and how the lore works.
Word Count: 2,913
AN: This was written after robynize prompted me with "Jimmy to Dean talk that says wake up please i'm stuck in here w all your ust !!!" I tried. I really did. I hope it's okay.
He knew he was dreaming from the start. The setting was familiar, comfortable. Dean was alone in a clearing, the knowledge that he was near a park registering in the back of his mind. If he made his way to the park, he knew it would be abandoned. That was the great thing about this particular dream: it was peaceful. The sun was warm on his face, a slight breeze rustling through the canopy of greenery overhead.
As it sometimes did, the wide open space and sunshine called him away from his secluded spot, down the trail that would lead him back to the park, the entirety of it belonging to him. Gently lolling hills of lush grass, clouds casting shadows as they occasionally swept across the sky.
Closing his eyes, he let his head fall back and spread his arms, taking in deep breaths. It was sad that about the only time he felt he could really breath was when he was immersed in a dream. Reality never offered him these calm moments. Frankly, there was no telling when reality would probably interrupt moments like this either.
“Hello, Dean,” a voice greeted gently from behind him.
Like now, for example, he thought, turning to face the angel that regarded him calmly. Though he was always happy to see his friend, his reaction to his presence in the hunter’s dreams was always torn, too. Joy at seeing Castiel, followed by the plummeting of his stomach at the thought of ‘Oh God, what’s so wrong that he had to interrupt my dreams to tell me?’
“Hey, Cas.” A bare hint of a smile colored the angel’s face, and after a moment, Dean tilted his head, regarding the other man. “What brings you here? Something important you forgot to warn us about earlier when we saw you?”
“No,” the angel replied simply. He said nothing else, what had been a shadow of a smile growing into something more pronounced, but still a little shy.
The hunter regarded him, the corners of his mouth wilting in to a frown of confusion. “Well, then, uh, what brings you here? Figured you have more important stuff to do than drop in for a chat. I saw you earlier, and we’ve got plans to meet up in the morning, remember? You, me, and Sammy: greasy eggs, sausage, grits, and toast down the way,” he said, hooking his thumb over his shoulder, remembering the diner down the road from the motel they were staying in, almost right next door.
Something was different here, but Dean couldn’t quite place his finger on what it was, perhaps something in the angel’s demeanor and stance that was more comfortable than Cas usually was.
The angel’s smile grew and he dropped his gaze, shaking his head in amusement at some private joke before walking closer to the other man. “You’re dreaming, Dean.”
“Well, uh, yeah. I already knew that.”
“I’m here because you’re dreaming.” He angled his head in the way that Dean would never admit to finding kind of adorable. “I’m apart of your dream, Dean.”
The hunter’s gaze narrowed. “You’re… I’m dreaming you. You’re not really Cas? You’re dream-Cas?”
“As much as you think about me when I’m not around, or steal glances at me when you think I’m not looking, and all the many other signals as to your feelings for me and yet this surprises you?” He rolled his eyes in exasperated amusement. “Don’t be dense, Dean. At least be honest inside your own head. Release in dreams may make waking easier.”
Then the angel crossed the space and pressed his mouth hard against Dean’s, causing the hunter’s eyes to fly wide open in surprise. His brain went into full on shock.
He was being kissed.
By an angel.
Holy mother of everything.
He startled backwards, staring at the man regarding him with a bemused expression and almost sultry look in those impossibly blue eyes. Dean felt like an idiot as he pointed to him, needing clarification.
“You’re not the real Cas.” The angel shook his head. “This is a dream. You’re apart of my dream. Not the real Cas.”
The other man shook his head. “No, I’m not actually Cas, the real one from the waking world.”
The hunter nodded. “Good. Because if you were, we’d have to talk or something. I can work with this, with a dream,” he said, reaching out to grab Cas by the front of his coat, yanking him forward to kiss Dean again.
Yeah, okay, so Dean had never had this particular dream before. Fervently kissing his best friend? No, that was kind of new. He’d had other dreams, sure, dreams that were suggestive and teasing and made it hard to look at the angel at first when he saw him again in the waking world, but it had never been more than heated glances and touches where they both knew what the other one was thinking, what the other one wanted, neither of them acting on it.
“I could definitely get use to this dream,” growled Dean, his mouth working a trail down Cas’ jaw and neck.
Rumbles of low laughter echoed in the angel’s chest until he was actually laughing in a way that caused Dean to straighten, frowning uncertainly at the other man, noticing even more how not Cas he seemed. His smile so uncharacteristic and easy, those blue eyes Dean loved so much sparkling in way Cas’ never did.
Dean knew he’d been played the fool and backed away, distrustfully.
“Who are you?” he demanded.
Not-Cas angled his head and shifted his weight, throwing a wink at Dean. “I told you I wasn’t Cas. How many guesses do you need to fill in the blanks?”
The grin he gave Dean was unsettling, it looked so out of place on Cas’ face, if only because Dean knew who he was looking at. They may have shared the same face, but they were completely different, and even trying to act like Cas’, he hadn’t been able to completely pull it off.
“Give the man a prize.”
Now Dean was completely not turned on, and more than a little squicked out. Oh shit. He’d been kissing Jimmy. Oh ugh!
He wiped a hand over his face and then his mouth, struggling to compose himself and wrap his mind around this turn of events. His subconscious in no way ever wanted to make-out with Jimmy, that much he damn well knew.
“What the hell are you doing here? I don’t get it. Why is my brain conjuring you? Sorry, dude, I may have the thing for the angel riding you, but it doesn’t transfer to the actual landlord, so you’ll have to get your kicks some place other.”
Jimmy rolled his eyes again. “Here’s the funny thing about Heaven: the most entertaining thing to watch is the drama in the lives of those on earth. You ever seen that movie with Drew Barrymore where she goes undercover as a high school student for an article and all of her co-workers are watching the drama unfold with bowls of popcorn and snacks like their favorite daytime drama is on?”
The hunter nodded. “Never Been Kissed. Not that I’ve seen it,” he amended, defensively. “What about it?”
“You and Cas are the daytime drama in Heaven. A show we, your friends and family, watch religiously and take bets on how long it’ll take the two of you to get your heads out of your asses and get together, because you so obviously both want each other.”
“Cas and I are Heaven’s version of ‘Dr. Sexy, M.D’?” he questioned incredulously. “Am I Dr. Sexy or Piccolo?” He said it joking irritation, because seriously, now this dream was just pissing him off.
Jimmy waved him off dismissively. “That’s not the point. The point is that while your friends and I are all having fun watching the ‘Will they, won’t they’ back and forth the two of you have going on, it’s gotten to the point it’s a little absurd.” He scowled at Dean. “Shove the angel against a wall and ravage his mouth like he wants you to already. You know you want to. I know you want to. He thinks you might want to, but rather than risking being completely wrong and ruining your relationship forever, he continues pining and growing increasingly frustrated, and like I said: absurd.”
“Um, dude. He’s wearing you,” pointed out Dean. “You’re giving me permission to throw you up against a wall?”
“I’m not in that body anymore. It’s not actually even my body anymore, one that’s fabricated to look like me since it’s the form you are most familiar with, the face you associate with Cas and trust.”
Turning, Dean wiped a hand over his face, trying hard to think back to what he’d either drank, eaten, or taken before bed that had caused this bizarre dream. He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. The things it was making his brain conjure, geez. And it had started out with such potential. Now he was just getting aggravated.
“I’m not a dream,” interjected Jimmy, probably reading the expression on the hunter’s face. The brunette turned his head to look at him. The man shrugged. “Well, I mean, I’m in your dream, but I’m in it the same way Cas gets in your dreams. He and I are still linked, and he’s linked to you through your bond, so I’m using him for once. He’s my bridge to have this conversation with you.”
Dean stared, incredulous. “You’re telling me you’re really Jimmy? The real Jimmy?”
The other man nodded, then winked again. “You may have a thing for my good looks, but don’t get any ideas while we’re here, Dean.”
The hunter made a disgusted noise. “That’s not funny, dude. I am not gay, and certainly don’t have a thing for your body. Don’t be disgusting.”
Rather than be offended, Jimmy had a hand on his hip, the other motioning to Dean. “You had no problem with my body a minute ago when you thought I was Cas. You were most eager to be near me. Or did you forget the way you just kissed me with the desperation of a drowning man?”
“Well, yeah,” exclaimed Dean, throwing up his hands in frustration. “I thought you were Cas, and I was dreaming! It’s not the way he looks that matters, it’s that he’s Cas, and he’s awesome and perfect and damn frustrating to be around because he’s a freaking angel of the Lord and I’m hopelessly in love with him!” Horrified, he clamped a hand over his mouth, staring at a triumphantly smirking Jimmy. Dean shook his head, his hand dropping to his side in defeat. “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.”
“Is it out loud if we’re in your head?”
“Look,” began Dean again, “my point is: You and Cas are like identical twins. You look the same, but you’re completely different. It’s why I’m in love with him, but the thought of kissing you grosses me the hell out. I want him, no matter how he looks. I don’t want you.”
“I’m touched. You should tell him that,” he suggested nodding.
“Yeah, good luck with that. He’s an angel,” the hunter reiterated. “He… deserves more than I can ever hope to give him, more than I can ever hope to be.” Dejected, he shook his head. “The best part of me was always him. When I was a demon in hell, he made me into something worthwhile again, his faith gave me enough hope to strive to be something better so he wouldn’t be disgraced by me. It’s bad enough he’s friends with us, I don’t want to give his siblings any further reason to ostracize him. I want him to have everything he wants.”
“He wants a life with you,” Jimmy said. “Tarnished soul, former torturer in Hell schtick, sibling co-dependency and all. You’re the non-negotiable part in what he hopes for, you idiot.” Dean glared at him. “So next time you see him, yank him forward and kiss him like you did when you thought I was a dream version of him. You wanna make him happy? That’s a really good place to start.”
Groaning, Dean clamped his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He didn’t think you could get a migraine while in the middle of a dream, but apparently, you could. Now if he could only dream some Tylenol and a glass of water, or better yet, a beer into existence, he’d be great.
“Y’know, for man of such devote faith, you really spout a whole mess of garbage. Never took you for a liar, Jimmy.”
“But it’s true.”
Dean opened his eyes to glare at the man in front of him, the man grinning like the Cheshire cat. Dean froze.
Jimmy was in front of him.
The statement had come from behind Dean.
He whirled sharply as though expecting to be attacked. Cas was regarding him- really and truly Cas this time- with a slightly embarrassed expression, a mixture of carefully reigned in hope and caution.
“I gotta admit,” began Jimmy thoughtfully. Castiel tore his gaze away from Dean to regard the man who’s body he occupied. “This is like the most awkward, incestuous three-way ever.” Dean blanched at the thought. “Good to see you again, Castiel.”
The angel’s gaze narrowed on him. “You knew it would not take long for me to sense you and follow. You planned this, didn’t you?”
Jimmy shrugged. “Guilty. I’m already dead, though, so I figured what could it hurt?”
“That was underhanded.”
“Says the angel who’s been here for ten minutes without making his presence known just so he could watch the argument play out.”
A deep crimson of embarrassment crept up Dean’s neck until his ears glowed red with humiliation, remembering what all he and Jimmy had said to each other.
Cas raised his chin. “I didn’t know if I should interrupt. I figured it would have to be very important for you to put for all the energy to arrange this meeting with Dean. I did not think you would do something like this lightly.”
“The fact that we were talking about your desire for Dean to throw you against the wall and kiss you dizzy should have been enough clue I wasn’t here over something worrisome.”
Dean raked a hand over his face and then through his hair, green eyes flicking back and forth between the identical men, their faces so similar, but their demeanors and postures so utterly and distinctly different.
“God, how did one dream turn into such a nightmare,” he wondered, not realizing he’d spoken aloud until the other men looked at him. He held up his hands. “Look, I cannot deal with this much weirdness when I’m asleep. My life is weird enough when I’m awake, so anytime the exit wants to make an appearance, I’m all for it.” He carefully kept his gaze away from Cas’, unable to face the angel, especially not with Jimmy still grinning like he’d just invented Christmas or something.
“The exit’s here,” Jimmy stated, his blue eyes swiveling to Dean, “but it’s for me, not you. You’re ticket out isn’t that easy and I’ve been here too long already.” He moved to turn and walk away, then faltered, glancing at Dean with a mischievous expression. He crossed the space between them, grabbing Dean by the front of his leather jacket and leaning in to whisper in the hunter’s ear. “You’re Dr. Sexy. Sometimes he’ll want to switch it up, but for the most part, he wants you to take the lead right now.” He pressed his mouth to Dean’s in a brief kiss as he pulled back, then winked and sauntered off. Dean had the impression he'd done it just to get a rise out of Cas. “Play nice you two.”
He faded from view with each step he took until both Cas and Dean were staring into empty air with a thick awkwardness hanging between them with all the things Dean wasn’t really sure he was ready to tell the angel standing beside him. Didn’t want to ask if the angel fully understood whatever he’d overheard. He didn’t want to talk about this at all, he wanted to wake up and find the entire lot of it had been a bad dream, rather than two dream walkers paying him a visit. He wanted a refund on his night; next time he’d stay his ass in the clearing with the blanket and just take a nap in the shade.
The hunter winced at the sound of his name, even if it was said softly, carefully. “Yeah?”
“I’m in love with you, too.”
They looked at each other, Dean cautious in believing what he was hearing. “Yeah?”
The angel gave a curt nod, pivoting so he was facing the hunter. “And I would really like it if you kissed me now.” Dean arched a brow. “It seems unfair you’ve kissed me, but I’ve never kissed you.”
Chuckling, Dean reached out, gingerly pulling Cas forward and up against him, green eyes playing over the other man’s face. “Not unfair, since technically, I haven’t kissed you yet, not even a dream version.”
“Then I hope you won’t even bother with a dream version in the future when you can have the real thing.”
Chuckling, Dean said, “I think I can agree to that.”